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Thursday, 11 April 2013

Reflection

Where are you now? Sitting on your sofa, with a hot drink or perhaps having a quick break? Is the room quiet, do you have company, or are you avoiding the screaming children as they fight over another toy for a hundredth time this afternoon?

Are you calm? Are you sad? Are you holding onto something that you know you need to let go of but can't quite make it to that point?

I find myself sitting in peaceful silence, with just the noise of the water trickling in our aquarium. The soft sound of Erin's lullaby mobile as she drifts off to sleep. It's not very often that I find these moments.

If you'd have said to me 6 years ago, that I would be sitting here, as a wife and a mother, living in Norfolk and being married for nearly 4 years I probably would have laughed in disbelief. If you'd have told me that I gave up all my career prospects to start a family I would have told you that it was highly unlikely. If you'd have told me that I would be sat here, very thankful for all I have but still wondering where I was heading, I probably would have reeled off my 5-10 year plan and said I knew exactly what I wanted to achieve.

I sit here with, if I'm being completely transparent and honest, some regrets. I regret that I feel my life is on hold. I regret that I feel my day to day life is meandering through circumstances out of my control. I regret that I was so set on what I wanted to achieve that I missed the bigger picture.

I know God has plans for me, and for our family. And some of those are starting to move into view. I know that my silly 5-10 year plan, that I sometimes daydream about, really wasn't ever going to push me to my full potential, or challenge me the way my life does now. I also know, that as cliché as it sounds, life is not solely about the destination, but keeping your eyes on the goal and learning through the journey.

My reality right now is being a "home maker". I recently had to fill in a form, which asked for me to state my occupation. I turned to the lady requesting the form to be filled in and simply replied "Occupation? I don't know what to put? What I used to do? I don't have an occupation now!" "Home maker" she replied with a smile.

"Home maker", not "Housewife" or "Mother" or "Dogsbody" or even "PA to my Family". I could have put "Cinderpoppins" as I like to refer to myself as - Cinderella and Mary Poppins all rolled into one.

"Home" - by definition according to the Oxford Dictionary is a place of permanent residence. But further down the specific examples of how it can be used it says this:

"Home - a place where something flourishes, is most typically found, or from which it originates" (www.oxforddictionaries.com)

My occupation is to make a place where my family flourish, where they grow healthily, rapidly and successfully. Where something becomes so attractive it draws people to it. My life being on hold is a ridiculous statement when you consider the meaning of a home maker. That God has directed my life for this season to create, nurture and establish a home people are drawn to. To share life with, to share laughs with, and to share our love for God with.

No stage of our life is ever meaningless, and sometimes you have to look really hard to find the meaning, which you may or may not find. But what we can be sure of, is that EVERYTHING we do has purpose. Every decision we make leads us into something, and if we make those decisions with His wisdom at the forefront of our minds, then we can be sure we are stepping into something amazing.

2 comments:

  1. Beautiful post, I am a stay at home mum AKA Homemaker too. I have days where I wish for so much more then I remember what a valuble job I am actually doing.
    xx

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    Replies
    1. This is just as much talking to myself as to other mums, it's a real challenge sacrificing your hopes and dreams to bring up your children, but it is a role that we all know is so important too. Thanks for your comment :-) Jenn xxx

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